Friday, February 21, 2014

Pre surgery fears

Alright the countdown to my hospital admission has begun.
I would be getting admitted for a surgery at one of India's best hospitals.
24 hours from now I would be laying in a hospital bed. 100% certain.

48hours hours from now, my surgery would have happened.and I would be in a hospital bed sleeping
and all my fears would have vanished. 100% certain once again.

Just like the similar moments when I visited the dentist knowing fully well , that I would receive injections in my mouth gums , but then these dentists brother and sister team are the only people I would trust my mouth and life with.
And yes they are experts in their work,

 Strong suggestion, always visit doctors with whom, you can trust your life with.

Coming to my small surgery, I'm nervous,scared and full of fear.
But the surgeon is a sweet old gentleman who has time and again proved his capabilities and expertise .
So I trust him , how much ?

 I am going to be under influence of anaesthesia and his capable hands.
The issue is inevitable, a surgery has to be performed, today or tomorrow.or next year, with whom i get it performed was my major fear. I am paranoid of letting strangers give me valuable advice, this is  a paradox in life, few people love it, others are wiser.

Since I trust this doctor gentleman, his seniority in age,experience,wisdom, and proven expertise I agreed. And he explained to me the steps , I took my time to think about it and agreed to let him perform surgery on me.

Known facts:- needles,drip, anaesthesia, and surgery .when I am in the surgery room, this doctor will be the only familiar face, I would be put to sleep for some time and then the surgery would happen, when it's over I would be woken up by him and shifted to a hospital room! 

Umm it's not going to be easy mentally for me, a person who has never been admitted as a patient to a hospital room ever before.

So for few moments in life , I will have to cease control of my own life and let go.
Reminds me of the SEDONA METHOD of letting go.
May be I learnt,read all these self help books for this moment in life, I certainly think so.

Unknown facts :-I need not know, I'm not playing god, but letting go, learning to let go of my fears and face the surgery bravely. 
And to end this certainty, all I could do is borrow the words "something unknown is doing , I don't know what, to me! 
Next update post surgery and my hospital visit , will post soon, in a few days.

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